The Need To Be Right
Have you ever been certain that your idea about how to do something was the absolute right way to do it? I mean other people may suggest another way but you KNEW your way was the most logical and efficient way to get it done? To you there was just no other way.
So if I ask you what two numbers added together make ten what would you say? Maybe you think well that is easy…5+5 of course. But actually 0+10, 1+9, 2+8, 3+7, 4+6, AND 5+5 all equal to ten. So which one is right…they are all a way to reach ten. Not one is better or more right than the other.
If you’re anything like me (Jesus help you! Lol ) and I’m positive there are some of you that are, you like things done a certain way…the right way…your way. To you it is absolutely right; it makes the most sense, and takes the least amount of time. So therefore it is right.
Many years ago I was that person. I had an opinion about everything! I would make others and myself crazy having to do it my way. It created arguments, offended people and caused me stress I didn’t need. It’s hard trying to run everyone’s life! Clearly I’m not an expert in everything and clearly I’m not always right. But I just couldn’t see things from another person’s point of view. #crazy
If there are several ways to accomplish something then that would mean there could be another reason I was so adamant about my opinion…why yes there was and it is called pride. Or stubbornness, or insecurity or all of the above! It took me more years than I’d like to admit but I finally came to the point of realizing everything doesn’t have to be done the way that I think it should be nor do I even have to have an opinion at all. #revelation
Why do we act that way? Why do we push and shove to be right? Why do we argue with people we know feel differently? Why do we get stressed out and work so hard to come out on top? And why do we care at all?
When I think of the years I wasted being stressed out and working myself crazy trying to make sure I did it all so that it was “right” it kind of makes me a little sick. I wrecked relationships, overworked my body, and for what? To prove what? That I am amazing?
It’s important to understand the why behind our what. There is always a why. What makes us do bat crazy stuff like that? When we can understand our “why” we can see the lie we have believed that causes our actions. I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional home. My father was an alcoholic so I never knew what kind of environment I was walking into at home. I had zero control over anything in my life and could never please my father.
The lie I believed was that I wasn’t enough and not capable of doing anything right. I had no self-esteem…my why. So when I got married I thought I could now make my own decisions and do what I wanted. I had some control now. To feel good about myself I had to be right, I had to do everything to perfection so you would love me. So many times we don’t see our why. We just come across bossy and prideful causing people not to like us…the opposite of what we really want.
In reality we are just hurting inside and don’t know how to fix it. Our actions are like putting a band-aid on our soul. It makes us feel good for the moment but it cannot heal the brokenness inside. After seeking inner healing I found the lie I had believed about myself. The lie that I had to prove to you I was ok. It took a good minute for Jesus to finally heal that wound. But he did and he can and wants to do that for you!
Take some time to ask the Holy Spirit “What is my why”? Why do I do the things that I do? Why am I bossy, controlling, judgmental, angry and insecure? Is there a broken place in my soul that you want to heal? He will show you and help you to find the healing that you desire. He has the answer for your wounded soul. He IS the answer…