I Can't Hold On Anymore
Lately my news feed has been full of story after story of friend’s heartaches, disappointments, and stressful days of unanswered questions. After the year we all painfully traversed, what seems unfair is more pain. More questions, more reality smacking us in the face.
The ebb and flow of life with its’ beauty and pain is a normal part of our exsistance. It just seems at times the hard blows can come too quickly, building up to a cascade of relentless turmoil that surrounds us in a cloud of dust too thick to see through to the other side where the light is.
It can happen before we are able brace ourselves and suddenly, we are buried under the weight of it with seemingly no way to dig ourselves out. Been there done that, and the t-shirt never fits.
I had a few weeks like that recently. I just didn’t think I could do it any longer. The weight was too heavy, the wait was too long, I just wanted an answer. That was my reality with very real frustrated emotions to go with it. Why does life have to be so hard?
But as He always does, when the wait has been too long and the weight too heavy, He sends a little reprieve. It comes in different packages, but it always seems to relieve the pressure and give me the strength to press on….
I heard this new song by Lauren Daigle “Hold onto Me” and in reading the lyrics over and over, I felt the pressure let up, the deep angst lessen, as I once again felt his presence sweep over me in waves of assurance. I can do this, I can keep going, I can…. because He is holding onto me. As I hang onto the side of the cliff looking down at my ultimate demise, I can choose to look up at my God who is my only hope. No matter what it feels like I am not alone, he’s right there…..you can listen to the song “here”
When the best of me is barely breathin'
When I'm not somebody I believe in
Hold on to me
When I miss the light the night has stolen
When I'm slammin' all the doors You've opened
Hold on to me
Hold on to me when it's too dark to see You
When I am sure I have reached the end
Hold on to me when I forget I need You
When I let go, hold me again
When I don't feel like I'm worth defending
When I'm tired of all my pretending
Hold on to me
When I start to break in desperation
Underneath the weight of expectation
Hold on to me
Whatever it is you are holding, remember that He is right there to hold you.
Father so many of my friends and loved ones are struggling today, they don’t think they can take one more heartache. I’m standing with them in prayer, trusting you to come through for them, trusting that you will wrap your arms around them in the midst of their anguish and that they would feel your presence. That the answers would come, the pain would lessen, and hope will arise. Bring a refreshing to their hearts and show them you are right there, holding them and that it is not too late to look up for their redemption is drawing nigh…