I Just Want What I Want...NOW
If you read this Blog you know that I write about real stuff…real life, real struggles and the real biblical solutions contained in God’s word. I don’t do fake or pretend to be perfect. So being true to form this Blog will be no different, in fact it may be the most real thing I’ve written because it’s where we all live anyway so why not talk about it.
We all go through life crises, struggles, and moments of pure exasperation at situations we cannot control. I just woke up and found myself hanging at the end of my preverbal rope and thinking the very real thought…I just can’t do this anymore. Ever been there? Sure you have. #metoo.
My particular situation has me all up in my feels today. Following is a list of the thoughts racing through my mind as I spiral a bit…follow me and see if any of this sounds familiar to you…
If it isn’t bad enough what I’m going through I have to be going through it in the middle of a flipping global pandemic!
I just need a vacation; a nice uninhabited island will do…for a year!
I need to DO something to fix this!
I need to talk to someone and get their perspective.
No…I need to eat something, yes a large bowl of ice cream will solve everything.
When we are in a situation where we need to trust God, at some point in the process our flesh has just had enough, and these thoughts just come to us uninvited and want to take over replacing our sanity with unreasonable demands. We can’t maintain a peaceful, happy stable mindset during crises for too long before our flesh just throws a fit about it all.
Our flesh has a mind of its own if you haven’t noticed. It wants what it wants when it wants it. To get its way it throws what is paramount to a tantrum of thoughts to get us to ACT on any one of them to try and fix the problem. What our flesh fails to tell us is that giving in and doing any of those things will NOT solve anything! It only serves to satisfy the emotional demands of the flesh nature while the problem remains unmoved.
Peter had denied Christ and then saw his hope for the destruction of Rome crucified. Jesus then comes back from the dead only to leave again and he’s left with more questions than answers. One day his flesh had had enough. John 21 tells us the story when he decides….” I’m going fishing.” No doubt his thoughts had been running amuck and his solution was to go back, back to the only lifestyle he knew pre-Jesus.
Abraham and Sarah had been waiting on God’s promise for what seemed like forever to them. Twenty years is a long time to wait. Genesis 16:2 “so she said to Abraham, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Finally, she’d had enough and caved to the pressure her thoughts inflicted on her mind and Ishmael was born. As we know her decision to not wait for God cost more than she realized it would. The whole middle east wishes she would have died to her own wants and waited for God.
We’ve all been there. When life’s blows hit so hard and our flesh is screaming for an answer to the pain we feel, everything in us demands action. Say something, do something, eat something! All of that pressure comes from a place in us, a desire that is still alive to our own way. We want what we want. It’s all about choices.
In these moments we have two choices. Give in and eat the ice cream and go to Tahiti where nothing really changes in our situation, except we gain 10 pounds and get a sunburn OR we choose to NOT act on any of the demands our thoughts present. These are the only two choices we have; give in or fight.
When we fight the thoughts and the pressure to act, we are essentially starving that desire in us and it dies. What you do not feed will eventually die. Acting on fleshly impulses is “sowing” to the flesh. Galatians 6:8-9 instructs us, “Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
What happens when we refuse to “act” on those pressuring thoughts is we submit to the waiting, to the unanswered questions, to God’s timing. We allow the Holy Spirit to do a deep work in our hearts. That work purifies our desires and builds strength for future battles.
The struggle is real for us all and no its not an easy fight we find ourselves in. My rational mind knows God is right and I’m just frustrated. Some days we just need a minute! So, while I know I will do the right thing “eventually”,I’ve just allowed myself to lament a little today and talk to Jesus about it all. He gets it. He listens and as I choose to turn to him, to hurt and process my feelings, he graciously sends the Comforter to me in abundance. Today choose to do the same, to allow the death of anything that needs to die in you and allow the answers to come on his timetable and not your own. #ughandouch
Father you understand, you get us so well. You lived in one of these clay suits and fully comprehend the challenge. Help every person who is overwhelmed today, hold us as we weep, pat our stubborn heads and reassure us you have a plan and are working it all out as we die to our own desires and timing. Thank you for the beautiful Holy Spirit who never leaves our side but continues to woo us closer to himself and infuse us with the comfort we need just when we need it. In Jesus name…amen.